My life is a classic example of a rollercoaster ride... My educational background has always been great... Good education... Good schools... Good teachers... And good friends... Because of that, I've always excelled in whatever I did...
I learn things fast, and I learn languages the fastest... I've been living here in the Netherlands for around almost a year now, and many people comment on how fast I have picked up the language... Many of the Dutch people I know say that the Dutch language is a very difficult language... And yet, my skills in reading, writing, listening and speaking are already somewhere in the 3rd level... (Note: The Dutch language has 5 levels... Where 1 is a complete beginner and 5 is a native speaker).
That has led many people to believe that I am so smart. But I'm not. Many people think that I'm a nerd or a geek or whatever you call it... I admit, that I've been hiding behind books and the need to learn for the last quarter of a century... It's a complete comfort zone for me... However, once I step out of it, I feel like only a few people truly understand me... Truly accepts me for who I am... They can't accept the fact that I can never appreciate shopping like many women do... That I prefer to tinker with my PC or play computer games than spend hours and hours of needless and trivial things such as drying my hair, picking the right clothes to fit my bag or shoes, et cetera...
I am a woman too, and yet many people (especially the guys that I like and work with) tend to not realize that. They think that because I have a good head on my shoulder and that I don't like to do trivial things that I'm just like one of them - just like "one of the guys". I'm always taken for granted and I'm always invisible... The reason for my recent lack of self-confidence...
But now, I will not be invisible anymore... Slowly, I plan to re-invent myself... I wish to show people, especially guys, that women can still have a good head on their shoulder and yet be A WOMAN... A woman who can be simple yet equally complicated... Smart yet equally stupid... Warm yet equally cold... Sensitive yet equally non-feeling... Independent yet equally dependent... Serious yet equally silly... A woman who can still the dependable, multi-tasking engineer in this usually male-dominated world of IT and this usually male-dominated world in general...
Yesterday was the plain ol' geeky Kagi... Tomorrow, I will be the fire that will burn brightly and will not be ignored anymore... As everything else in nature here on Earth has evolved for the better, so will I...
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